Once upon a time, I was organized. I used to be on time, never missed deadlines, completed tasks and achieved goals. Then I had kids…
And from there it seems to be a never ending journey of broken promises, unmet targets and relentless procrastination. Though I keep telling myself that things will fall in place, I will have more time, more money, more space but I know it’s a lie.
I lie to myself not because I am a die-hard optimist who’s hopeful about any situation or outcome in life. I lie simply to feel better. And to smooth out my daily conversations, I also lie to my husband!
Before you raise your eyebrows, these are not black lies or red lies, like “I stole your credit card for my online shopping and lied about it”. (Now that would be dangerous!). These are just harmless little white lies I tell my husband on a daily basis to make the hot mess of our life more comfortable.
Here are the seven most common white lies I keep telling my husband to survive my days:
- Would you be ready on time?
“Oh I just need 5 minutes. I promise I will be on time”.
What it means: Five minutes could mean 20 minutes, 35 minutes or an hour, during which I would try to stuff in as many tasks as your temper will allow. From taking a shower to feeding the baby, all will be done in just five minutes *wink*before we leave!
- Why didn’t you answer my call/text?
“My phone was on silent.”
What it means: I have the best of intentions. I swear. But between entertaining a six month old, placating a five year old, I am sorry to say, you just got ignored!
- You have not published anything in last two weeks.
“I will write something today”
What it means: I only have two eyeballs and one brain; either I can watch the kids or type the article. I will write only on the day I will get some quality undisturbed time!
- You still haven’t replied to that email.
“I will do it the first thing in the morning.”
What it means: First thing, never really means the first thing. The first thing I do is make tea. I might get to it second, but that is probably a lie too.
- Do you remember where have you kept ‘that’?
(‘that’ can pretty much be anything. It can be the car keys, some office file, a legal document, TV remote control, his specs, cells of AC remote control….the list is endless!)
“Yes, I remember.”
What it means: I remember means three hours of frantic search in all the four corners of the house.
- You were supposed to call me.
“I was just about to call you.”
What it means: In the quantum mechanics of our house my phone is always lying in some remote corner of the room. And I just found it when you called!
- My jeans are screaming for a wash.
“I will ask the maid to wash it today.”
What it means: At some point in time it will get washed. It might be today, it might be tomorrow.
These are the white lies I keep telling my husband every day both to escape the current mess and to continue living the dream of ‘happily ever after’.