35 Lessons I have Learned in 35 Years of My Life

Happy Happy B’day to Me!

I turn 35 today. What, 35? When did that happen? Because as far as I feel, I just graduated from college and backpacked to Mumbai to see what the city of dreams has in store for me. And I always thought thirties were the years when you hit your stride! But here I am right in the middle of thirties, still dreaming and excited about the things to come just as I did at 25 or 29.

I still love staying up all night just to watch the stars or surf the mystic internet. I still love buying pink tops and penning my feelings in pink diary with pink ink. I still love receiving flowers and chocolates on my B’day from my lover. And this reminds me, I’m married!

Yes, I’m married for seven long years and have two adorable kids!

So even though I don’t feel my age, I’m now a more confident adult, more sure of myself, and more comfortable in my own skin in my thirties than I was at any time in my 20s.

So for my 35^th B’day, here are 35 things I have learned from 35 years of my life:

1. How you dress determines how you feel. If you want to feel good, put in that extra effort to look good.
2. You don’t have to do it alone. In life, only results are rewarded and not the efforts. You are not going to get any medal for doing it all alone. It’s okay to seek help.
3. Things are not as difficult as we think them to be. We have a tendency to overcomplicate things that can be solved easily.
4. It’s futile to fret over your flaws. People don’t notice your flaws as much as you think they do.
5. You can never make everyone happy. Stop wasting time pleasing people. They can never be pleased.
6. You don’t have to be good at everything. It’s okay to be good at certain things while being bad at others.
7. Don’t talk when you are angry. It will only make matters worse.
8. Accept people as they are. They come in packages and God does not turn out faulty products. Accept them in whole.
9. No one can win an argument. Learn to let it be.
10. When you forgive someone, you do a favor to yourself, not to him/her.
11. Stop wearing clothes from your college or early 20s. Even if they fit, they make you look trashy. Dress age-appropriate.
12. It’s okay to sleep on issues. If patch-up seems too hard to come-by, it’s futile to lose your sleep over it.
13. Looking good is 90% hair and 10% face and figure! So stop fretting about your weight and figure out a flattering hair-cut or hair style to look your best.
14. Food tastes best when you are hungry.
15. Listening to music in the morning is a great way to start the day.
16. It’s okay to cry at sad stuff. If you should laugh your heart out to life’s funny moments, crying over touching moments in life makes sense equally.
17. There is no such thing as perfect time. That perfect time will never come. If you have to do something or start something do it now or begin today. Stop waiting for January 1 to make the changes or start something.
18. Exercise does not just let you lose weight but it also helps to make you feel good.
19. Don’t ignore the small things. Happiness most often visits you in these small things of life. The smile on my baby’s face, a cup of tea made to my taste, receiving flowers from my husband, hearing the sound of rain drops falling on the ground and so on. Life resides in these small things, we take for granted.
20. Loving yourself is not being selfish. In fact you cannot love someone else if you don’t love yourself. So take time to pamper yourself, indulge in that monthly spa, buy the dress you feel looks good on you, read that book you always wanted to read, treat yourself to a good movie. Do whatever it takes to feel good and loved. And never be hard on yourself. After all you have only one life.
21. It’s never too late to follow your dreams. If you’d love to do something but think that you are too old for that, think again. Age is just a number and it’s never too late to do or start anything in life. It’s your mindset that makes all the difference. Even though, writing had always been my passion, it’s only recently that I have started taking it seriously. I’m 35 and have just begun my freelance writing career.
22. Take care of your body; it’s the only one you’ve got. Yes, it’s taken me 35 years to learn that your health is more important than looks.
23. Do good, when you feel bad.
24. There is no such thing as ‘happily ever after’. Hard times are bound to come and while, they are no fun, they make you who you are. And after all, a story without the lows would be too boring, isn’t it?
25. People are never what they seem to be. Sometimes people do not mean what they say and are manipulative. Accept them as they are but do not let them affect you or take things to heart.
26. Telling white lies is okay, if it helps to spare yours or someone else’s feelings. I keep telling white lies to my husband on a daily basis to smooth my daily conversations with him.
27. Have at least one friend who is 10 years older than you and another who is 10 years younger. Both will be good for your soul.
28. The best key to happiness is to stop expecting and start accepting. Each individual is different and has an entirely different world view from yours. Don’t expect people to understand your world view or do things you want them to do.
29. It’s okay to leave and let go. If a situation or person makes you feel unhappy or uncomfortable, it’s perfectly okay to leave and move on.
30. Sometimes, outer order contributes to inner calm. Take time to clear the clutter in your surroundings and follow an order of daily routine to stay calm and focused in life.
31. It’s okay to make mistakes. We are here to learn and grow.
32. Kids grow up to be too soon even though it may seem like ages when they are very young. Treasure all the moments spent with them. This time is never going to come again.
33. Motherhood is the most disgusting yet most rewarding thing in life. It’s disgusting because you wake up in the middle of the night to the smell of vomit. The vomit is in YOUR bed. And it is you who has to clean it. Motherhood is rewarding because at the end of each hard day you are comforted by the most beautiful smile in the world!
34. It’s important to brush your teeth every night before you go to sleep. I know it’s boring, it’s awful but so are cavities. I am telling this from my own experience. I have lost teeth, so please for the love of your teeth, just brush!
35. Treasure people who genuinely care for you. True love is elusive. It’s scarce. It’s the stuff novels are made. But it’s real and if you happen to find it in your life never give up on it or lose it at any cost. Be grateful, be thankful to people who love you truly.